Yarn Harlot Style!
Hold the socks over the garbage can.
Proclaim loudly, “Darn it!” and release.
Repeat as necessary.
I admit, this is a rather disappointing development, considering that the socks in question were only a few months old. However, I have now learned a hard lesson about taking care of hand knits, even if the yarn is “superwash”. In the future, I will still use my washing machine to wash my hand knits, but only on the soak cycle and with a wool wash like Soak or Eucalan (and bad me for abusing the socks the way I did).