Knitting

Purling idiot, that’s me!

I have to frog E’s sweater and start over because a) I don’t think I need to cast on as many extra stitches in the armhole–the armhole is ginormous, and b) not only are my purl stitches are WAY bigger than my knit stitches, but they also slant to one side.

I didn’t realize how bad this was until I started the sleeve.

Unlike the body of the sweater, the sleeve is knit in the round (knitting only, no purling). Pictures do not do justice to the beautiful and orderly way the stitches of the sleeve line up. I cannot illustrate their perfect tension, their glorious evenness, in digital still-life. Neither can I accurately portray the hideous misshapenness of the purls in the body of the sweater or how they moan and lean and, yes, even drool. My purl stitches are idiotic. The progress on the sleeve is beautiful. The rest is ass. No, it’s worse than ass. It’s ball-sack. It’s hairy, stinky ball-sack and I have to frog it.

I checked knittinghelp.com to try and figure out what I’m doing wrong. Guess what–I have been purling through the back loop. This has caused every purl stitch I’ve ever done–every single one since the day I started knitting–to lean, to drool, and to essentially look like ball-sack in every single project I have ever made that required purl stitches.

I want to scream.

But, at least I now know. Also, I believe purling the right way will allow me to go faster.

I think I’ll scream anyway.