Or maybe I’m doing it wrong…

This is my vacuum.

I would like to preface my remarks by first saying that I love my vacuum. This is a workhorse that really gets the job done, in spite of persistent abuse and mistreatment. Like the time I put the air filter in upside down (and vacuumed for months like that), or the numerous times the back end has gotten stuck around the corner and I yanked on the hose hard, or the fact that I’ve only had it serviced once since I purchased it seven years ago. I won’t even mention the dozens of bits of yarn and strings and pennies and Playmobil pieces and God knows what else it’s sucked up. But I digress.

There is just one thing I don’t get about this vacuum. It’s got a feature that I cannot for the life of me figure out. Way up by the handle, there’s this little door you can slide open to adjust the suction. See?

Open. Closed.

Can someone please tell me what in the HELL this thing is for? I don’t think that I’ve EVER, in the seven years I’ve owned this thing, said to myself, “Self, this vacuum just has TOO MUCH SUCTION! Let’s open this puppy up!” Seriously, has anyone in the history of vacuum cleaners ever said, “Hey, we need LESS suction! This baby’s pulling the tacks out of the carpet.”

I’m confused.