grumble · life

Tacet

As I type this I am sitting tacet at orchestra rehearsal, knitting and listening to the conductor rehearse everyone else in the Peer Gynt Suites (and trying to stay out of trouble; bored trombonists are often unintentionally disruptive to orchestra rehearsals). If I had a TARDIS I would go back in time and find out what exactly Grieg’s problem with trombones is. ALL THE OTHER BRASS sections actually play in this! I mean, what the hell Greig?!?!? Did some lady trombone player break your heart or something? Did a banker trombonist lose all your money in the stock market? Did a cattle rustling trombonist steal your cow? What is your problem with trombone players? Why single them out as the ONLY SECTION that doesn’t play? BLAAAAAARG!!! I’m coming for you Grieg. I’m going to to travel back in time and lose all your money in the stock market and then I’m going to steal your cow. RIGHT AFTER I BREAK YOUT HEART you trombone hating jerk wad. That’s right. I said it. Grieg is a jerk wad.

food · grumble

Yogurt Fail

I tried to make coconut milk yogurt overnight last night. I used this recipe from the Crockpot Lady but when I woke up this morning, the yogurt hadn’t even thickened up. It was more like Kefir. Which is okay, I guess, but I really wanted yogurt. So I did a little googling and found one website that said I could just turn the heat back on for, like, half an hour, add some gelatin and it would be fine. Um. No. No it was not fine. It stayed too hot for too long and my yogurt broke. I don’t even know what happened to the gelatin. Now it’s an inedible mess.

Which is too bad because it smells awesome.

grumble

In Which I Try Not to Discuss The Weather

So yeah. It has been one of those days. Our homeschool group’s activity was cancelled today because of the, uh ….  something, and my kid had a doctor’s appointment, after which we went to the pharmacy followed by a quick stop at the super market for bananas. (Even if the pantry and refrigerator are totally full of food, I always feel completely hubbarded if I don’t have any bananas in the house.)  When we got back home, I promptly crawled into bed and took a nap. Fuck it. Here’s a picture of a flower:

 

 

grumble · holiday cheer

Humbug!

Dear Christians,

Here’s the thing. Christmas doesn’t really belong to you. At least not in its entirety. And the fact of the matter is that it never really has. Human beings have celebrated Midwinter festivals in one form or another for thousands of years. The many layers of tradition, folklore, and celebration of our modern Christmas have been handed down to us through hundreds of generations of human history and are not limited to a single storied birth which very likely didn’t even occur near the winter solstice, if it occurred at all.

Christmas, as much a secular holiday as a sacred one, belongs to everyone. I’m terribly sorry that you don’t care very much for sharing your sacred holiday with the unwashed heathen masses, but it doesn’t change the fact that you DO share it. Further, the secularization of Christmas doesn’t make it any less sacred. Celebrate a sacred holy Christmas in your places of worship and stop lashing out in annoyance at those whose celebration is more secular. Keep Christmas in your own way, and I’ll keep it in mine.

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grumble · rant

When did knitter become synonymous with ninja?

I mean honestly? Today on the weather channel I listened to an exchange between the two anchors about the extremely long weather delays today at the New York airports. “So don’t forget to grab a good book or some knitting!” the first anchor said, to which the other anchor replied “is knitting even *allowed* in airports?”

Really?

When has a terrorist EVER taken down a plane with his or her knitting implements? I mean, I can’t even think of an instance of this happening in *fiction*. Is there a secret cadre of knitting ninjas out there that I am not aware of?

grumble · Thursday.

Dear John Stewart:

OMG, you guys! I went to see the Daily Show today! It was the first day out I’ve had sans kids in a very very long time (thanks, hubs! You’re the best ever!) and it was a lot of fun. They must have the hardest working staff in television. They put on such a great show. There is one thing I would like John Stewart (and his security staff) to know, however. No self-respecting knitter would ever (EVER) use her (or his!) needles as a shiv. I mean seriously. It would get blood all over the wool. Just a little FYI. You know.

grumble · Knitting · yarn

Now I Remember

This yarn was on a time out. ::grumble::

Everything was just peachy until I got up to 38 stitches for the instep and the pooling turned around stabbed me in the back, just like it did the first time I tried this pattern with this yarn. Clearly this yarn wants to be something else. Plain vanilla socks? Or perhaps a lacy scarf? A hat? What say you, dear internet?