To the guy behind me in line at Target:
Who, exactly, were you trying to impress with that cologne you were wearing? Your lovely wife? Or perhaps it was your 6 small children (ranging in ages between 7 and 9 months)? Frankly, I was not impressed, nor, I’m sure, were any of the other shoppers in Target yesterday afternoon at 4 pm. I, for one, found it incredibly difficult to breathe with you standing right behind me, a mere cart’s length away. You see, strong fragrances, such as the one that rolled off of you like a dense fog, tend to inflame my asthma. Further, I’m quite confident that I was not the only asthmatic shopping at Target on a busy Saturday afternoon. Please just consider others before you dump an entire bottle of cheap-ass cologne on your head. Thanks.
PS: I mean, seriously. Did you think you were going clubbing or something? WTF? There’s a time and a place for cologne and it sure as hell isn’t shopping at Target on a goddamn Saturday afternoon with your family. Damn.