life · rant


To the guy behind me in line at Target:

Who, exactly, were you trying to impress with that cologne you were wearing? Your lovely wife? Or perhaps it was your 6 small children (ranging in ages between 7 and 9 months)? Frankly, I was not impressed, nor, I’m sure, were any of the other shoppers in Target yesterday afternoon at 4 pm. I, for one, found it incredibly difficult to breathe with you standing right behind me, a mere cart’s length away. You see, strong fragrances, such as the one that rolled off of you like a dense fog, tend to inflame my asthma. Further, I’m quite confident that I was not the only asthmatic shopping at Target on a busy Saturday afternoon. Please just consider others before you dump an entire bottle of cheap-ass cologne on your head. Thanks.


PS: I mean, seriously. Did you think you were going clubbing or something? WTF? There’s a time and a place for cologne and it sure as hell isn’t shopping at Target on a goddamn Saturday afternoon with your family. Damn.

4 thoughts on “Crank.

  1. You know what? I’m posting a dorm rant. You (and whoever thought it was a good idea to stuff the drain in one of the sinks with toilet paper) have inspired me.

  2. Lord, I hate that, too. Although, I normally have an uncontrollable response to strong cologne that usually says it all to the offender: I start sneezing over and over again. Seriously. I guess I’m allergic to strong scents. lol

  3. Love this. I mean, I hate that you were stuck there, in that horrid situation I’ve been in before, but your writing was enjoyable to read. We were all right there with you, ready to offer the guy soap, a towel, and a finger pointed at the nearest shower.

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