Just Stuff

I’m always really bummed when I realize that it’s been more than a week since I made a blog post because I know it means I haven’t been up to much. This month has been pretty shitty like that actually and I can’t even say there has been much knitting. I’ve been laid up with asthma since the end of January which has pretty much sucked. There’ve been so many doctor’s visits (once a week, at least) and 2 ER trips and, quite frankly, I am just so over it. I just want to breathe again, you know?

I did finally get around to blocking my sister’s shawl, which is something I suppose.

[ravelry]

Isn’t it pretty? Can you believe I was actually considering skipping blocking it all together? I’m so glad I didn’t, because it really does look nicer with the lace all stretched out and open, even if that does mean you can see all the mistakes I made that much better. Apologies for the poor lighting, but I didn’t get around to taking nicer pictures of it because asthma.

So yep, the asthma saga continues, but I do have another appointment with my pulmonologist on Monday. Here’s hopin’.

Checking In

If anyone out there is wondering, yes I am still in the land of the living. The last couple of weeks around here have been crazy busy, and so therefore extremely draining. But, at least the cats have been inspected and inoculated, and I have a new pair of glasses headed my way. (Hooray for the Internet!) There might have been an acupuncture treatment in there too, as well as a couple of trips to the beach. *whew* I have been knitting too, but I never seem to think of taking any pictures before the sun goes down. So, yes I am here, and yes I am thinking of the Blog. Maybe one day I won’t be too exhausted to be interesting.

How is your summer going?

Infodump, or, TL;DR TMI

So, in the last few weeks, I’ve been to a couple of doctors about my fatigue. I first went to my regular family practitioner, my GP. She recommended a physical, which included blood work and urine tests and an EKG and all that. During my appointment she intimated that she suspected the problem was with my thyroid. Well, it turns out that with the exception of my iron (which was crazy low), everything was normal! I was actually excited about the iron level, thinking that it could be the source of my fatigue, but when she called to give me the results, she said that since I’m not anemic, that shouldn’t be a problem. Ugh. (FWIW, my iron levels have been low since I started seeing my naturopath 2 years or so ago. He put me onto an iron supplement at that time and I have been taking it ever since. Personally, I think it’s weird that my iron levels are actually lower than they were 2 years ago in spite of supplementing all this time, but whatever. That is, apparently, neither here nor there.)

Ultimately, the conversation ended on a low note because she ended up giving me the equivalent of the “it’s all in your head” speech by suggesting that possibly this fatigue is actually depression. Now, I’ve been depressed before, y’all, and this is nothing like that. I do understand that fatigue is a symptom of depression, but unlike the times when I have been depressed, I actually WANT to do stuff. I WANT to write, to exercise, to knit, to be awake and to live. My mood is fine. But my body is another story. Most days I feel as though I am encased in cement. My eyes are gritty in the middle of the day. And, no matter how much or how little sleep I get at night and what time I wake up in the morning, I usually need a nap by 2 pm. I seriously do not believe in my heart of hearts that this is depression. I don’t feel depressed. Could I be wrong? Sure. But I really want to explore the idea that it could be something else.

Which is why, in fact, I went to see the sleep doctor and have the sleep study done. Today was the follow-up appointment with him. The good news: I do not have OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea)! Which means that I am not going to die suddenly in my sleep which is a VGT (Very Good Thing). The bad news: I still do not have a reason for constantly being fatigued! One thing my sleep doctor did say, which I found quite irritating, was that during the 3 hours of actual sleep I got, I had 27 instances (9/hour) of partial airway collapse, and, according to him, 10/hour would have meant a diagnosis of mild Obstructive Sleep Apnea (although they still don’t give a CPAP for that). Argh. Perhaps if I had been able to get a better night’s sleep they’d have a better picture of what’s going on with me? I dunno, but it still pissed me off.

So, that’s where we stand. I guess it’s back to the naturopath for me. In the mean time, I started taking vitamin C with my iron. Funny story: when the naturopath first started treating me for the fatigue, he had me taking vitamin C with my iron and for a while I was actually feeling a bit better. Since I was feeling better (and off the gluten) he said I didn’t have to take the vitamin C any more. Anyhoo, I decided to add it back in after my conversation with the GP and GUESS WHAT! HOLY SHIT, I was able to get out of bed at 8:15 this morning, I got through my entire day without a nap, and I am still awake enough at this ungodly hour to write this blog post. I am going to be seriously pissed if 2 years of fatigue boils down to no one telling me “Hey dumbass, you gotta take some vitamin C with that iron.”

Seriously. Pissed.

A Brief Update

OMG you guys, I am insanely excited for tonight. I’m scheduled for a sleep study at the hospital where I’m to be evaluated for sleep apnea, the likely cause of this fatigue I’ve been struggling with. I’ll be hooked up to all manner of sensors and they will watch me sleep to see how it goes. Ooh, I can’t wait. I love that sciencey stuff. Also, my sleep doctor is incredibly nice, too, so that’s a bonus.

I’ve been knitting a little, and weaving too. I finished another dishcloth:

I love that colorway. So much fun and very cheerful. To top it off, I’m nearly done with my secret weaving project.

Now, I’m off to make dinner before heading over to the sleep lab. Cheers!

Yeah, it’s time.

Okay, here’s the deal. I’ve been faithfully keeping up with my post a day challenge for 4 months and 26 days now. I’ve added nearly 150 new posts to the blog and in many ways it has been a wonderful challenge. But guys, I am SO TIRED. No, not of blogging. I actually enjoy the process of blogging very much. I just think it would be easier and more interesting if my life were more than just trying to get through each day, just trying to survive this damn daily fatigue. I do much less of everything than I used to. I don’t knit as much, I haven’t read anything other than what I find on the Internet in months, I rarely do anything with my kids. If I happen to do anything besides sit still for most of the day it is really and truly a major accomplishment. Unfortunately, if I actually do manage to do anything besides sit still, it’s usually to do the dishes or a load of laundry. Gah. And so, I regretfully, and yes even tearfully, have decided that today is the last day of my post a day challenge. I will still blog, but I just cannot keep up with doing it every single day.

Be well, everyone. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Or so.

8 Random Things for a Sunday

1. Work on the Blue Blossom Shawl is progressing swiftly now, without all those stitch markers slowing me down.

2. I’ve gotten through 6 repeats of the twee little triangles and have only 6 more to go.

3. I was busy goofing off with my TAS today and so didn’t get any pictures of it (or anything else, really) today.

4. We went shopping.

5. I got a new dress and a KitchenAid mixer!

6. We’ve been watching Jekyll on Netflix.

7. It’s really good.

8. Like, really really good.

Nothing To See Here

The good news is the apocalypse hasn’t happened (although I did find some lovely alpaca lips). The bad news is I didn’t do much of interest today to really justify a blog post. Sadly, I’m well and truly committed to this post a day thing, to my detriment (and yours), I’m starting to think. Is there anyone out there reading this drivel? Anyhoo, I have ideas for the blog, but ideas take motivation and motivation is in rather short supply around here as of late. Most of my ideas are “week of” ideas. “Week of Memes” or “Week of Cats”, for example. But if I am posting every single day, how long is the week? And when does it start? So many questions which require such deep and intensive thought. Ugh, am I going to be able to keep this up for another 7 months? I honestly don’t know.