Doozer · life

What is that old saying about revenge?

While I was out with the children yesterday, the cat did something really and truly heinous. He had nom’d one of Isaac’s newest and most highly prized toy, a small R/C helicopter. Mr. Interrupted caught him in the act, and immediately doled out what is likely an overly harsh sentence — a kitteh time-out in the bathroom. The helicopter is a complete and total loss, but can be easily replaced. Isaac was disappointed, but got over it soon enough. The bathroom, however, is another story. You see, at some point during his timeout, Doozer retaliated by peeing somewhere in the bathroom (rather than in the toilet where he usually goes).

The bathroom to which he had been confined is tiny, practically a closet, a water closet if you will, so it didn’t take much to really stink up the place. When I arrived home with the children in tow, the stink of cat urine was rather thick in there and spilling out into the rest of the house. I immediately removed the bathmat, which was the obvious place for him to have his feline revenge on us, but the acrid smell lingered. Then I mopped the floor, but to no avail. Resigned, I scrubbed every horizontal and vertical surface — the floor (again) the cabinets, all four walls, the shower stall, the toilet — and still the stench persisted!

Mr. Interrupted pressed upon me to retrieve a black light from the local Spencer’s Gifts, which I did, but no mystery spots were revealed by its velveteen otherworldly glow. As I backed out of the room, lighting the murky corners with the ultra violet light, eyes straining for even the barest hint of the florescent smoking gun, I caught in the corner of my eye a glimpse of Doozer, taking a shit in my shoe. Feline revenge, apparently, is a dish best served stinky.

holiday cheer

Merry Christmas

And don’t forget to eat your greens!

holiday cheer · meme

Christmas Questions: A Meme

I got these from SunflowerFairy (thanks)! Jump on in, the water’s fine!

Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper for the most part, but gift bags are fun, too.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. There’s less mess, and just a one time investment instead of a yearly fee.

3. When do you put up the tree? Preferably the day after Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? On the Epiphany. (The epiphany usually being something like “holy shit, why is that tree still up? It’s freaking January 6th already!”)

5. Do you like eggnog? Love it. When I was a kid, my dad would drink eggnog mixed with 7-Up. I know it sounds weird, but it’s good. Really.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Cabbage patch doll. I’ve still got her, too. :-)

7. Hardest person to buy for? Hubby. We usually pick out our own gifts, which is fine and actually works out very well for both of us.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Me, for the same reason as #7.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes. We have this one from Haba the boys can play with.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? The ol’ snail mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I can’t remember.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story. Elf is a new favorite. This one looks promising.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I did all my shopping in October this year. I wanted to be all done so I could enjoy NaNoWriMo without the additional stress of holiday prep.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate.

16. Lights on the tree? Lots! And multi-colored, not white.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Lately, Oh Holy Night is a favorite, along with The Holly and the Ivy (with the original, pagan lyrics), and the advent carol that Sting did: Gabrielle’s Message.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Definitely stay home.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen. Rudolph was always my favorite, though.

20. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning.

21. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Certain despised “Christmas” songs played over and over and over on certain radio stations (that shall remain nameless).

22. Favorite ornament theme or color? Santa.

23. What do you want for Christmas this year? Yarn. Or hand knits. Or knitting paraphenalia. Perhaps some pretty rosewood needles. Or the glass ones.

24. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star.

25. Favorite Christmas dinner? Chili.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Knitting

Life After NaNoWriMo

The first week of December, nearly gone now, has been a week of writing avoidance. I finished my juxtaNaNoWriMo project–the wonderful light and lofty qiviut knitted up into a soft and warm moebius cowl [ravelry].

Here it is, modeled by a very pensive looking Isaac.

And I cast on a sweater [ravelry].

I need a new picture. I’m already through that ball of yarn and halfway into a second!

nanowrimo

Well, that’s it then.

tgif (thank god i finished)
tgif (thank god i finished)

And all I can say is THANK GOD. I had a really tough time this year, realizing early on that I hated my story. Hated it. Hated. Still, I forced myself to slog through and finish and, even though I wanted to stab myself in the eye with a fork every time I sat down at the computer, I’m glad I did. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to print a hard copy of my book so I can throw it on the fire. Cheers!

birthday · cute kids · food · holiday cheer · life

Ah, yes…

I’ve just finished putting away the Thanksgiving leftovers and am sitting here, enjoying a cup of coffee and the last couple of bites of E3’s pumpkin pie. I must say that I’m quite tickled with myself. The ginormous bird was roasted to juicy perfection. The stuffing, cooked in the crockpot with the turkey’s wingtips and tail, was delightfully deletable. The gravy, made with giblet broth (but no giblets) and turkey drippings, was velvety and flavorful. The green salad was cool and crisp, a perfect complement the savory warmth of the other dishes. All in all, it was probably the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve ever made. Sadly, there are no pictures. The entire meal had been consumed before it occurred to me to document it in photographic posterity. Oh well.

There’s another reason today is a special day. Today is I’s 7th birthday.

How is it even possible? I can’t believe he’s seven already! Isaac had a pretty good year. He learned how to tie his shoes this year, and how to ride a bicycle (skipping over training wheels entirely). He has really started getting a handle on reading and math and we earned that, for I7, the number zero is really really red, the color of fire, and that the larger a number is, the greener it is.

Anyhow, happy Thanksgiving to all my bloggy buddies and long distance friends. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! (And a happy birthday if today also happens to be your birthday, hah!)

nanowrimo

I am a funny person. Really.

Next November I want to write a funny novel. My last two NaNo novels were (are) very serious. Last year I wrote about the journey of an abused slave girl and how she triumphed over her abuser/captor. This year my book is about a young mother and her son, abducted by aliens, who learn that, in order to save humanity from a bitter future of endless and brutal war, they have to make the ultimate sacrifice. Pretty heavy stuff.

Tonight I was wondering why I haven’t made an attempt at writing humor. I mean, who doesn’t love a funny book? I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor. Here’s a joke I made up:

When either of the boys are finding every excuse to avoid getting ready for bed, I tell him I’m going to change his name to Joseph. Why? Because he’s stallin’.

I’m not so sure if I’m good at making up jokes.

nanowrimo

In re: the Plot

Dear Jen (if that really is your name),

Are you fucking kidding me? This is absolutely the worst plot I’ve ever seen. In. My. Life. Do you really call yourself a writer? This is horrible. Terrible. Seriously, stop writing now and think of something else or take up a new hobby. I refuse to be party to this travesty of fiction, this horror, this pathetic attempt. I mean, first you make my love interest gay and therefore not interested in me. At all. And then, do you give me any time, even a little, to process that? No. You immediately have us all abducted by aliens. And that’s not all. You go and make the alien ship not actually a ship, but an alien being. A giant, ship-sized extra-terrestrial cuttlefish. Brilliant. And, to top it all off, you almost immediately have the gay dude killed off by yet another kind of alien. Not just any random alien, but a sort of large time traveling dragonfly race that, for some odd reason, you decided would be the source of the fairy legends on Earth. What?! And don’t think I haven’t peeked into your notes for the remainder of the book. Seriously, I have no interest in sacrificing myself and my child for the good of humanity. I suspect you were trying to pull off what you thought was an ingenious plot twist, but I have one word for you. Lame. Lamelamelame. And I refuse to participate. Why don’t you go and write something fun? Like superheroes or rock stars or something? Better yet, go back to your knitting and leave me alone. Hey, here’s an idea. Thanksgiving is next week. Why don’t you go write up a menu and a grocery list. That, at least, is something I know you’re capable of pulling off.

XOXO,
Ellie

Knitting

What the?

How can it be the week before Thanksgiving already?! I feel like I missed a memo or something. And I have a dental hygine appointment this week. Guess who hasn’t been flossing regularly. *grumble* On the upside, NaNoWriMo is going well, sort of. And I cast on my Qiviut project. [ravelry]

I had a hard time getting a good photo of this project, but rest assured that the yarn is as soft and buttery as advertised.

links · random

A link.

Proof that circular reasoning works. (thanks, Buzzfeed!)